Cancer sucks

As a cancer patient, I always use to tell people that God allowed me to get diagnosed with cancer due to the fact that I have a voice, and that one day, a person will go through the same obstacles as i am now dealing with in life, and need to hear my words of comfort. A few months ago, I had gotten a friend request on facebook from a complete stranger who admires my braveness and ability to continue on living a fearless life as a person who is struggling with stage four ovarian cancer. We would talk about things like, how i remain positive throughout this disease of mine and how i found out. I always look at life and the people that i come across, as a meaning of purpose. I believe that certain people enter your life for specific reasons, and although i may not pin point those exact reasons most of the time, I like to take lessons and learned from my friendships with people. This man that I had met and conversed with was hospitalised a few weeks ago, due to pain in his hip. Come to find out, he has just been diagnosed with stage four lymphoma and it has spread to his bone marrow. Who would have thought? I find it an honor to be a person of comfort to this man during his time of struggle, for I did not have a friend who could relate to cancer with me at my time of being diagnosed. So with all of this being said, Don't take people for granted. You never really know your true purpose in their life and how much of an effect you can be on them.

The Cancer Centers Of America

I know it has been a while since I've posted any blogs, but that's only because I haven't been doing much but chemo lately and so there hasn't been any new updates to talk about. As some of you may have already known, I did an interview with the Vacavill newspaper which made front page. It was pretty cool I guess. i have also been looking into gathering information about becoming a motivational speaker. There are a lot of people who admire my braveness and positive attitude, so I believe it is a calling of mine to share my story with others. We get so caught up in all of the negative aspects of life, that we tend to complain about things on our end of living, that we don't stop to think about how good we have it compared to the next person or even in other countries. Not even that, but we need to learn how to become more grateful for all little things we have.

       I received a call yesterday from the cancer centers of America, and my insurance approved me to be seen in Oklahoma. They will be paying for my air fair, hotel and food, as well as for another person that I choose to have come with me. I'll be leaving a week from now and staying about five days. I think this is such good opportunity for me, but at the same time, I start school that same week, so I'm pushing it real close. My grandmother says that I can always go back to school and to just focus on my health right now, which is all understandable, but I just want to continue with my life right now and not have cancer be a crutch for me. I feel like my life is being put on pause at the moment and i don't like the feeling of that. One of my aunts made a comment to me this past holiday at a dinner we were having. Although she was a bit tipsy, she stated that I care for and spend more time with my friends than I do family. I cannot disagree more, but for all good reason. If my family is reading this blog, then honestly I would be a bit surprised. I don't express my feelings much to ANYONE. There are only certain people I chose to be open with. Growing up, my mother was murdered when I was three. Her boyfriend killed her and my father was never around. I was told that my grandmother barley wanted to take my brother and I inn because she just got done raising eight kids of her own. So I already felt a bit "unwanted" in a way. On top of that I just felt so lost. I didn't have a mother, father, nor did I have any contact with my mom's side of the family. Then when my mother died we got separated from my younger brother because we had different dads, and he got to live with his. Growing up, I just felt out of place with my family. Disconnected. I felt as if I could be in the same room as them and never be noticed. I was more shy and soft spoken back then, but not now, lol. So ANYWAYS, My friends were here for me a lot more than my family has been the majority of my life. They showed me more love then what I felt my family did. When I had no where to go and no money in my pockets, my friends were the ones who picked me up and helped me out. My REAL friends never gave up on me. So its not that I care or love my friends more than my family, they just understand me on a completely different level. But never misunderstand what I say, I LOVE MY FAMILY!!!!  So now, I ask that I continue to stay in every ones prayers as I will do the same for all of you. UNTIL NEXT TIME...........................