1st oF thE mOnth

I hate days like these. Its so nice outside, yet I feel so ugly inside. I walk around the house without a thing in the world to do. Yes I'm sure I can come up with SOMETHING to do. But all options don't seem worth getting up for. I just feel hella lost. The phone calls have seemed to slow down. No one really calls to check on me anymore (besides the ones who were REALLY checking on me from jump). But I figured that would happen. If my phone rings and its a "friend", they only A: need to vent or ask me advice about some unhealthy drama relationship (like they really have something to complain about in life) B: Asking me if I want to go out. Which in a small way that can just be them trying to help by getting me out of the house. But when I pass on the offer the convo is cut short. or C: asking if I would like to hit up a party or happy hour. which in an other case I wouldn't mind, But with this chemo I've been taking, I have no urge to drink. And being around a bunch of drunks is the last thing I want to do.