O. M. "EFFING" G.

I am about to seriously lose it in a minute. My peak point is approaching and I can just feel myself about to blow the ""F" up. WHY????? you MUST be asking right? WELLLLL!!!!! not only do I just sit on my ass all day at home, with nothing in the world to do but lose my damn mind, but now I'm told that because of this piece if crap-like fluid that they pump through my body once a month called CHEMO is the reason I can NO LONGER go to the gym. I'M SAYING!!!! How do doctors really expect me to utilize my time??? Sitting on my ass at home and getting fat is SOOO0OOO motivating to me. GOSH!! What a lovely mental plan these people come up with. SHIT, my grandma was trying to convince me just the other day that i shouldn't be bowling either. I promise, I have such a positive mind set and I try to bring out the good in any situation i am in, but I'm running out of options here. Going to the gym was a way for me to escape this reality of a life I'm living right now. It made me feel good.  But now i am being told that I cant make any repeated movements, such as cutting up fruit. WHO DOES THAT??!!! ERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!! "Well what would happen if you do these things anyway, Eboney?'  I'm as hard headed as they come, so of course I had to ask..you know what I was told? "NO GYM, DEFINITELY NO SAUNA. THE HEAT WILL INCREASE THE EFFECTS OF THE DOXIL (my chemo). JUST TAKE IT EASY. LET YOUR BODY BUILD ENERGY TO FIGHT THIS CANCER"  (moment of silence)............................................................
UGH!!!! I'm soooo sick of all the fucking rules already. I just want to be normal again. Do normal things. Live a normal life. HAVE NORMAL HEALTH SO I CAN GO TO A NORMAL FREAKING GYM. Can you believe that I cant even take a normal hot shower or bath?? yup. The heat will redirect the chemo medicine  from where its originally suppose to go......And I know that all of these precautions are for my health and in killing the cancer, But unless any of you readers out there have gone through anything similar, you have NO idea how irritating things are for me right now. AND ON THAT NOTE.....................